Stolen Quote #31

Last night was Parent Teacher Conference.  We weaseled our way out of Miciah's, but Elijah's was mandatory.

Outside the room on a little table, the kids' journals were out.  We flipped through Elijah's and were disheartened by how many journal entries were about the wii / video games / computer games.  This is why the wii gets banned on a bi-weekly basis.  The kid just can't regulate himself.  (Right now, though, the wii is broken, and I'm not in an extraordinary hurry to replace the broken part.)

Displayed on the wall above the little table was a little party hat for each child.  They each had written a goal for the new year, then colored the party hat in whatever way they liked.  Elijah's, of course, was solid green.  Here are some of the 1st graders' New Years Resolutions:  Be nicer to my family.  Play less video games.  Load and unload the dishwasher.  Keep my [school discipline] card on green.  Be smart.

What Elijah said:
"Never get my card flipt and be smart."

Not a bad goal.  I approve.  (He's already had his card flipped once in 2011.  But only once.)

Our favorite New Years Resolution was written by Elijah's classmate named Brooke:
"Stop picking my lips.  Stop picking my nose.  And being nicer to my family."

Excellent, excellent goals.

Stolen Conversation #21

Miciah:  Where are we going?
Tamra:  To the Simpson's house.
Miciah:  Why?
Tamra doesn't respond.
Elijah:  We're getting a dog.
Miciah:  No, we're not.
Elijah:  Yes, we are.  Bro. Simpson said so.
Miciah:  Elijah, we can't be getting a dog because we have a cat.  Dogs and cats hate each other.  If you have a dog and a cat, your windows will break.

Stolen Conversation #15

Miciah (my 8-year-old daughter):  You can't go through that door.  It's a trap.
Elijah (my 5-year-old son):  For a baby?
Miciah:  No, it's a TRAP.
Elijah:  A trap for a baby?
Miciah:  No!  Just for normal people!
Elijah:  What's a trap?
Miciah, in a huff:  When you go through that door, the Queen pushes you to the alligators.  So you can't go through that door, okay?
Elijah:  Oh.  Okay!

Stolen Quote #10

From Elijah, whispering in my ear:

Do dead armies pee?