God and Moses

(This has a huge Mormon slant. So if you're not Mormon and you're having trouble with the premise, sorry.)

I've been thinking about a religious idea lately. A theme repeated throughout time and different dispensations. I've been thinking about failed religious principles. For instance, Moses' Higher Law. You know, the one he brought down from Mt. Sinai before the 10 Commandments. The one the people weren't ready for. The one he smashed into pieces.

Well, I've been thinking about this idea like so. God gave Moses the Higher Law. But the Higher Law was a flop. Moses had to go back to God to get an easier law. So, WHY would God give Moses the Higher Law? I mean, God knew it was going to be a flop. He KNEW it wasn't going to fly. So WHY would He give Moses a law that wouldn't work? Was there something inherinently bad about the Higher Law? Something that caused it to fail?

Whatever the answers are, we'll put them on hold as I give you an interpretation on the God and Moses interactions, as loosely taken from Exodus 31 - 34 (or so).

God and Moses, a Short Play

Curtain opens and we see Moses, at the base of Mt. Sinai, with a large group gathered before him.

Moses: (to his people) Shortly I will ascend this mountain and again speak to The Most High, and ask Him to present us with His Grace and Mercy in establishing His Law. (pauses for his people to cheer) Farewell for a short time. Stand firm in the faith of our fathers and I will return empowered with the Truth.

(The crowd goes wild. Moses departs. After ascending the mount he meets God, who is waiting for him in a cloud.)

God: Moses, that was a fine speech.

Moses: Yes, it should have been. My speech-writer spent a good 2 days working on it, else I would have been here sooner. Hard, these days, to find a good speech-writer.

God: You know, I'd offer to write them for you, but I'm a tad busy with other Heavenly Business and Order. People can get a little squably up here, you know? Brother Chad built a mansion on land that Brother John owned. Boundary disputes, that sort of thing. Or Sister Sarah is destined to marry Brother Mark when she comes down to earth, but Sister Jennifer is in love with Mark, too, and so Sister Jennifer's made a petition to change destiny. It's amazing, really, that I still have to settle all these disputes.

Moses: You should set up a system of lower courts. That's what I would do.

God: By jove, that's a great idea!

Moses: Not that I'm trying to change the subject, Lord, but do you think you could get out of that cloud? It's hard for me to concentrate when I can't see your eyes.

God: Oh, yes, sorry. (takes off the cloud suit) I just came from the gym, and I like to wear it when I'm working out. Provides good coverage, you know. ... Well, then, should we get down to work? I've got some great ideas for The Higher Law.

Moses: Of course I'm very interested, Lord, but this won't take too long, right? I told my wife I'd be back by lunch tomorrow.

God: Oh, did you not get the memo? I sent Michael to personally deliver it. Must have been a miscommunication with my secretary. Anyways, the Higher Law might take a little while to hash out.

Moses: I thought it was just going to be 10 Commandments.

God: Yes, well, only 3 commandments, actually. That's the beauty of the Higher Law. Less of the Letter and more of the Spirit, if you follow me. The rest of the Law is Chess.

Moses: Chess? What is Chess?

God: Oh, it's a fantastic game. I didn't come up with it, ah, a chap named Smith did. Or was it Smithers? Whatever his name, he's allowed me to present the game to you for the Higher Law.

Moses: A game? It shouldn't take too long to learn a game, then.

God: This isn't a normal game. It took me 4 days to learn it, and I'm, ... well, I'm God. So I'm guessing it'll take you something like 40 days and 40 nights.

We see God taking out a chess board and pieces as the lights fade on God and Moses.


Time passes. Moses returns to camp, exhausted after learning Chess for 40 days and 40 nights. Aaron is standing in front of a golden calf, and the people are naked, singing and dancing.

Moses: (to Aaron) What is going on?

Aaron: Oh, Moses! I'm glad you're back! Look at this beautiful golden calf we've made!

Moses: (stepping closer to Aaron and lowering his voice) Aaron, what makes you think I would be happy to see a golden calf?

Aaron: Well, why wouldn't you? Isn't it nice?

Moses: (no longer keeping his voice down) Aaron, we've TALKED about this. Idolatry is not a good idea. It even says that in one of the 3 Commandments I just brought down with me.

Aaron: Oh. Riiight. I remember. We talked about that before you went up into the mount.

Moses: Yes.

Aaron: I don't remember you specifically mentioning golden calves, though. There was something about images and idols, but nothing about calves.

Moses: (in frustration, eyes to heaven) Oh, Lord. If this people are so slow to remember Thee, how can they learn to play Chess?

Moses throws the stone tablets onto the ground where they break into a million pieces. The people stop their singing and dancing to look at the pile of broken stone. Moses looks around at them.

Moses: Well, go on. Go get your clothes on.

The people quitely exit and we see Moses starting to work melting down the golden calf. Moses is mumbling chess strategies to himself as the lights fade.


Lights come up and we see Moses and God, on top of Mt. Sinai, just as before. God is not in a cloud. Moses is quickly pacing back and forth.

God: Moses, you don't look so good. What happened?

Moses: What happened?! You already KNOW what happened.

God: Yes, yes. So I do. I just thought it might help if you talked about it, that's all.

Moses: I learned Chess for 40 days and 40 nights. Then I walked down the mountain carrying those tablets. You made them out of marble, you know, and they were heavy. And I got down there and they'd made a GOLDEN CALF! (Moses sits down in dismay.)

God: Cheer up, Moses. I can give you the 10 Commandments. It won't be too hard to write those out.

Moses: I thought you said it was 3 commandments.

God: Well, it was, but that was the Higher Law. This one is 10 Commandments. And over time I'll give you mildew precautions and other such things, too. Highly useful. Quite timeless. But we'll have to skip the Chess.

Moses: But, but, I learned Chess for 40 days and 40 nights!

God: And you've become quite good at the game, too, I might add.

Moses: But, if you knew that the Higher Law wasn't going to work, why didn't you at least tell me?

God: Ah. My ways are infinitely more complicated than your ways, are they not? But you'll have to trust me, cause things all work out in the end. It all has to do with efforts being made in the background. And I have so much time I have to work with. Things have to work out over thousands and thousands and sometimes even millions and billions of years. Oh, billions isn't a word we've talked about, is it? Still, you'll just have to trust me.

Moses: (resolutely) Your ways are higher than man's ways.

God: Yes! I like how you've said that. Definitely less confusing than how I put it out there, eh? ... Well, then. Here are the 10 Commandments. (hands them to Moses) And if you ever want to play Chess again, you know where I am.

Moses: Thank you, Lord.

God: No, no, thank you, Moses. Good work.

Moses walks off stage while God stands and waves to him, saying things like, "Off you go, then." "Excellent work." etc. After Moses leaves, God stands alone for a second, heaves a sigh of relief, and walks off stage the other direction.