California Passages

Why, hello, Tamra's blog. How have you been?

While in California I "wrote" a few passages in my head.
Nostalgic moments where the fog rolled in over the mountain forests and I thought about Steinbeck and walks along Cannery Row.
Remembering moments of hikes up to Fremont Peak, talking with friends in the dark, when the park is closed, dreaming of the future, wishing it were already here but glad we still had time to dream.
Frustrating moments on a golf course, losing my dad's golf club head in a nasty pond, and all the crap that went on that day (in fact, I'm not sure why I haven't written that day up already. It was hilarious and frustrating and amazing).
Moments in the present, where my kids whined at me and I drifted away, not caring.
Cute moments with Elijah sitting on my bed in the middle of the night, asking for a song.
And then moments in the present that brought me back to the way I used to be: staying up so late that I wouldn't have to think about anything as I fell asleep, cause it was easier that way. I have no reason to do this any more, it was just pleasant for the beauty of the memory.

And yet I wrote up none of those moments. For no reason other than they were somehow more beautiful in my mind than they would be in words, on paper or in print. And I wondered, for a moment, if someday someone will say: Tamra could have done something with her life. She had talent. She had ability. And she squandered it.

And I wondered, even if someone did say that, would I care?