The Key West Branch Conference

Yesterday was the Key West Branch's Branch Conference, and they got a new Branch Presidency.  So, as is the Mormon tradition, the old Presidency and the wives bore their testimonies and then the new Presidency and the wives bore their testimonies.

And there couldn't have been a better meeting for me.

I could relate to the newly called men and their wives as they stood up and bore their testimonies of the truthfulness of the Gospel and their willingness to serve, even though they were imperfect and somewhat unprepared and unqualified for such a call.  I cried because I was so touched, and I thought about what my testimony would have been like had I been asked to give it when Rob was first called.  Rob's testimony was hesitant, and you could tell how nervous he was.

I wasn't asked to bear my testimony.  Why?  Probably because it would have been chaotic.  I would have said, with a smile, that I was sad Rob wouldn't have a beard for a while, and that he wouldn't be sitting with us at church.  But I would have said with conviction that I knew this was where Rob needed to serve right now.  I would have said that I know the Lord loves us and knows where to call us.  And I would have related Rob's reaction to his call, which is worth relaying mostly because it's so funny.  Rob walked into the meeting thinking they were going to call him to some stake position, maybe in the YM Presidency.  He was prepared to tell them no.  But instead he was called to be the 2nd Counselor to Bishop Cybulski in the Western Hills Ward.  Rob's jaw dropped.  His head went back, as if someone had physically hit him.  He choked on his words.  And then he said Yes, Of Course, even though it was so unexpected.  (The whole time I wanted to laugh at him, and I STILL wish the moment had been videotaped.  It was awesome.)

It wasn't until they had well established Rob's response that they turned to me.  President Woestman (he's Jim, and my friend, but for the sake of this story we can call him Pres.) asked how I felt about it, but he didn't have to ask.  The calling came to me like something you hear but you somehow already knew.  Did I have reservations?  Some, mostly having to do with the extra time commitment and sacrifices our family would make.  But those didn't matter.  The answer was Yes.  Yes, yes, yes. 

It's nearly been 2 years since then, and it's been an interesting process.  In some ways it feels like he was just called and that we're still learning a lot about how to make things work.  And in other ways it feels like he's always had this calling and that we could make it work for the rest of our lives.

The one thing I know is that slowly the sacrifices we make, the demands of the calling, and that feeling of obligation, has gone away.  Some days I'm angry and frustrated and I hate everything about his calling.  But those days are fewer and fewer.  Without anything actually changing, the obligations are fewer because suddenly they aren't obligations at all.  They're priviledges.  The extra meetings, the longer times needed, they aren't sacrifices.  They're opportunities.

I don't know all about why those changes took place, or how.  But I know Heavenly Father loves us.  And I am grateful for the blessings we have received through Rob's service as a Counselor in the Bishopric.

At the end of Branch Conference, I heard someone say what was said to me when Rob was first called, "I'm so sorry that your husband was called to the Branch Presidency."  Of course we're supposed to laugh lightly about that.  And while at one time I would have said the same thing, and for a while I did say something similar ("If the Stake President calls and asks to talk to you, don't do it!"), I wouldn't say anthing like that now.  I would say, instead, "What a singular opportunity for growth!  I'm happy and excited for you."

A lot of what is in my heart surrounding Rob's calling, ... I can't define it.  But I'm grateful for it.

Stolen Quote #10

From Elijah, whispering in my ear:

Do dead armies pee?

Who am I kidding?

What's wrong with me? Why is Teancom so ridiculously addicting?

I'm not allowed to use the F word any more, and I'm fine with that. These days, when he has attitude and he's screeching at me, and not listening even if I threaten him with punishments, he's not my Favorite anyway.

But there's a special smile just for him. I realized it the other day in this moment:

Teancom wanted fruit snacks because he is addicted to them. There was one package of fruit snacks downstairs, I knew, and I told him that we could get them in a minute or so. (I always try to make him stall a little, because of the addiction factor, and also cause I don't do many things on first request.) A little while later I walked into the living room where all three kids were and said, "Who wants to help me get fruit snacks from downstairs?"

There was a slight pause while Teancom registered what I'd said and then he shouted, "Me!"
I smiled a smile of pure joy, a smile that only Teancom gets, and held out my hand towards him to lead him downstairs.

As I walked towards the stairs, I realized that during the brief pause when Teancom had been thinking about his reply, Miciah had also responded to my question. She said, "I do!" ... Of course, the question was a set-up; I knew Teancom wanted to help, fruit snacks are exclusively his thing, and the question had been directed to him the whole time. But I didn't light up to Miciah's response. Heck, I didn't even HEAR it!

... Perhaps it is a lost cause and I am doomed to be a horrible mother. But I can't make up a special smile when there isn't one! I don't feel like I love my other kids less, just differently.

I feel a swelling of pride when I think of Miciah. She is a great person and so fun-loving. I giggle when I think of her dancing and being crazy, just to get laughs from others. And I love that she's so inclusive with her friends. She loves to be helpful and is so thoughtful. I love who she is and who she is becoming.

I feel warm fuzzies for Elijah. He's a sweet, sensitive soul who craves hugs and kisses and attention. He does sweet things like giving me his precious Care Bear and blanket to take to bed with me. I know he does these sorts of things because he wants me to be happy. He takes great pride in doing his school work well, and loves to hear that I'm proud of him. Even in Elijah's hardest moments, I'm never deeply frustrated with him. How can I be? I know that he's a soft person, and that's adorable.

Teancom is ... waking up in the morning to softly playing music, the sunlight streaming in the window radiant and soft, and cuddling up with someone you love, knowing the world is right and nothing is wrong. Knowing nothing can EVER be wrong. He's an unexpected soft touch on the cheek when you're having a bad day, a tight hug around your neck when you're ready to cry. He's well-timed, easy-going Pure Joy, delivered directly to you, distilling upon you, withholding nothing. Joy that is so easy to come by that you're not sure what you'd do without it. A deep well of radiant bliss.

Teancom loves so purely, so joyfully, that I can't help but think that if I could just tap that love. If I could just take a piece for myself. If I could store it up in my heart and transform it, and in turn let it transform me. If I could channel it somehow...

But he's just a boy. He's not Love and Joy and Goodness.

And that's it, isn't it? That's why Teancom is so addicting. Teancom is a symbol to me. Notice in my paragraph about why I love Teancom, there's not a single thing about Teancom the person. It's all about the love he radiates.

Huh.

Stolen Quote #9

Said by a friend who has no power to change anything, nor any way to prove or disprove the statement:

I could have ended the war in Afghanistan in 3 months.

Latest Music Obsession

Owl City. Fireflies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw&NR=1

(Wouldn't let me embed it, and it's not showing up as a link. Bitterness. Oh well. You can copy and paste into your browser.)

We must have listened to this song 50 times over the weekend. The album Ocean Eyes is on our Wish List now. Must own. The kids love it. Rob loves it. I love it. Clean, fun electronica pop.

Enjoy.

Stolen Quote #8

From Stake Conference, about a month ago. A man gave a very funny talk, perhaps the funniest over-the-pulpit talk I've ever heard. It started with, "I remember the first time I gave a talk in church. It was 20 days ago." He went on to say that he'd asked the bishopric member, we'll call him Brother Brown, for some advice on giving a talk and Brother Brown freely gave it. He then asked, "When's the last time you gave a talk?" Brother Brown responded, "When I was 8 years old." The man, during his talk, then turned to the Stake Presidency seated behind him, "You know who Brother Brown is? 2nd Counselor in the Fairfield ward?" He paused as we laughed. Then he said, "That's payback."

But that wasn't the best part. The best part was the following quote. He said, of the temple:

"You know you want to go there! It's like Chuck E Cheese for Mormons!"