Winter and Reptiles

It's about this time of year, every year, when I realize how reptilian I am.  I tell people, when the topic comes up (and when wouldn't it come up that I'm a reptile?), that I'm cold-blooded.

Not talking personality-wise.  I'm talking actual blood temperature.

For some reason I can't keep heat inside my body and I am almost constantly cold.  My circulation is horrible.  When I ran track in High School, I was exempted from having to find my pulse after sprints, because not even the coach could find it.  It's all related:  low blood-pressure, lack of circulation, cold extremities...

I am a reptile.

In the winter this becomes more of a problem because, being incapable of creating my own heat,  I have to find external heat sources.  The best heat sources involve hot water, and so in the winter months I am obsessed with soups, hot cocoa, hand-washing dishes, and too-hot-and-too-long showers.  Showers are my favorite, and I can easily spend up to an hour every day in the shower (that's 3 showers times 20 minutes a piece).  Lately this has been striking me as a grand waste of time.  But, oh, the hot water!  Blissful.

The other great external heat source at my disposal is Rob.  When I come up to him on a winter's day or night, and I start lifting his shirt, this is NOT a come-on.  And if you ever saw it (saw it), you would hear Rob screaming like a little girl, even before my hands hit his bare stomach.  The problem with this heat source is that as my hands warm, I have to find new places to put them, since the heat source loses substantial heat by being in contact with my hands.  And, the heat source frequently yelps as I find new warm spots.

When Rob is not available and I am feeling ashamed about the amount of time I spend letting hot water scald my body, I huddle over the main heating vent in our house.  The problem with this external heat source is that it isn't constant, so I either have to deal with it being off a good deal of time, or I have to turn up the thermostat to keep the furnace running.  And even if I DO turn up the temperature, I have to fight the kids for my spot over the vent.  It's a family "fun spot."  Definitely first rate real estate.

I do have a rice bag that I heat until it's nearly scalding and then I hug into my chest, leaving a red mark.  Then I move it to my feet until they can't stand it any more, and then back to my chest.  This process can repeat for about half an hour.  And Rob loves the rice bag because it largely keeps his stomach incident-free.

So as I think about winter and maintaining body heat, my commitment to lowering my water and heating bills slips.  I am a reptile, and I need warmth.  However I can get it.