Guess what I learned yesterday?!
If you let a green onion grow big, big, and then you eat the bulb, straight, it might be a bit strong. And then, as an involuntary reaction, you might want to vomit. And then you might have to chug milk and then eat a sugary something, just so you don't vomit. And even after the initial wave passes, you might still be dealing with that feeling for the rest of the night. And as you pass those green onions, sitting on the counter, just the sight of them might make you feel sick.
Isn't that all great to know?!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Movies and Love
How come in movies the phrase "Don't hurt him!" is always a profession of love?
I mean, I can think of lots of people whom I don't love but that I still don't want to see get hurt. If a mob boss were saying to me, "I will maim and kill this person if you don't tell me your secrets," I'm not sure it would matter WHO that person was. I would immediately start into my life history, telling all the secrets I've ever had. I'd rather tell the secrets, no matter what kind, than have the maiming and killing of another human being on my conscience for the rest of my life.
Or, the outcast coming back into society, and people are shouting to lynch him, and the one person who secretly loves him shouts out, "Don't hurt him!" "He's just a misunderstood person!" And then all the townspeople realize that she loves him and then their anger is bigger than before. ... Can't reasonable people shout, "Don't kill him!" "We shouldn't be so quick to kill another human being. Let's think about this a bit harder, guys"?
I don't think I'm alone in this. I think most people would choose not to kill another human being, even under threat of a mob boss or pressure from an angry crowd. (At least that's what we'd choose if we had time to think about it. Let's leave crowd psychology out of this.)
So I repeat my initial question:
How come in movies the phrase "Don't hurt him!" is always a profession of love?
I mean, I can think of lots of people whom I don't love but that I still don't want to see get hurt. If a mob boss were saying to me, "I will maim and kill this person if you don't tell me your secrets," I'm not sure it would matter WHO that person was. I would immediately start into my life history, telling all the secrets I've ever had. I'd rather tell the secrets, no matter what kind, than have the maiming and killing of another human being on my conscience for the rest of my life.
Or, the outcast coming back into society, and people are shouting to lynch him, and the one person who secretly loves him shouts out, "Don't hurt him!" "He's just a misunderstood person!" And then all the townspeople realize that she loves him and then their anger is bigger than before. ... Can't reasonable people shout, "Don't kill him!" "We shouldn't be so quick to kill another human being. Let's think about this a bit harder, guys"?
I don't think I'm alone in this. I think most people would choose not to kill another human being, even under threat of a mob boss or pressure from an angry crowd. (At least that's what we'd choose if we had time to think about it. Let's leave crowd psychology out of this.)
So I repeat my initial question:
How come in movies the phrase "Don't hurt him!" is always a profession of love?
Monday, May 24, 2010
A Perfect Weekend
Rob took me on a date on Friday. A date!!!
On Friday night we LEFT THE HOUSE for our date, and the leaving was important, for some reason. He took me to my favorite place to eat (Panera Bread). Then he watched my soccer game, and with the aid of providence I played remarkably well while Rob was there to witness. Usually when he's there I play average to horrible, or he's watching the kids, too, so he misses my really good plays. And while my passing was off for this game (usually it's very ON, so I was frustrated with that), I scored or assisted 4 of my team's 6 goals, and we won the game. SWEET!
Then we went to Home Depot. The romantic hot spot. (It's where the cool kids go.) We bought stuff so he could fix our broken light in the basement, and so we could grow tomato plants upside down in 5-gallon buckets (I'll post pictures when they're well on their way), and so we could plant herbs in pots and viners to go up the posts in the front.
We came home, paid the babysitter, jointly put the kids to bed, and played New Super Mario Brothers wii until late.
PERFECT DATE. Seriously.
On Saturday Rob helped mow the lawn. Then we rigged up the upside-down tomato buckets, and planted all the herbs and viners, plus the other bulbs and seeds we'd been needing to plant for weeks. Gardening is one of our shared loves.
Then we went to a party. And then we took a nap. The kids were in bed late because Rob went to a church meeting and I was still planting and cleaning and mowing and such. You know, utilizing the light until late time. And Miciah threw a fit as she was getting ready for bed and she got sent to her room and stayed up later than the boys so we could deal with it. Miciah always says, "Mom, don't yell at me so much," and I always say, "Miciah, don't throw so many fits," and we resolve to try harder to be nice next time, and we're friends again.
Rob helped me do dishes until 10:30 p.m., and we danced in the kitchen, and that made Miciah laugh. And then Rob danced with Miciah, too, and that made her laugh some more. And then Miciah went to bed and Rob and I played Mario, and went to bed late again, and loved every minute we were together.
TOGETHER. What a beautiful word.
A perfect weekend.
On Friday night we LEFT THE HOUSE for our date, and the leaving was important, for some reason. He took me to my favorite place to eat (Panera Bread). Then he watched my soccer game, and with the aid of providence I played remarkably well while Rob was there to witness. Usually when he's there I play average to horrible, or he's watching the kids, too, so he misses my really good plays. And while my passing was off for this game (usually it's very ON, so I was frustrated with that), I scored or assisted 4 of my team's 6 goals, and we won the game. SWEET!
Then we went to Home Depot. The romantic hot spot. (It's where the cool kids go.) We bought stuff so he could fix our broken light in the basement, and so we could grow tomato plants upside down in 5-gallon buckets (I'll post pictures when they're well on their way), and so we could plant herbs in pots and viners to go up the posts in the front.
We came home, paid the babysitter, jointly put the kids to bed, and played New Super Mario Brothers wii until late.
PERFECT DATE. Seriously.
On Saturday Rob helped mow the lawn. Then we rigged up the upside-down tomato buckets, and planted all the herbs and viners, plus the other bulbs and seeds we'd been needing to plant for weeks. Gardening is one of our shared loves.
Then we went to a party. And then we took a nap. The kids were in bed late because Rob went to a church meeting and I was still planting and cleaning and mowing and such. You know, utilizing the light until late time. And Miciah threw a fit as she was getting ready for bed and she got sent to her room and stayed up later than the boys so we could deal with it. Miciah always says, "Mom, don't yell at me so much," and I always say, "Miciah, don't throw so many fits," and we resolve to try harder to be nice next time, and we're friends again.
Rob helped me do dishes until 10:30 p.m., and we danced in the kitchen, and that made Miciah laugh. And then Rob danced with Miciah, too, and that made her laugh some more. And then Miciah went to bed and Rob and I played Mario, and went to bed late again, and loved every minute we were together.
TOGETHER. What a beautiful word.
A perfect weekend.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Being My Own Husband's Girlfriend
Things have been stressful around here lately. If you've read my Thackering blog posts, this should be obvious, because when I'm stressed I deal with it SO WELL. I start wishing I were dead, which is, I'm sure, the most positive way to deal with my stress. I start wishing that everything around me were changed or gone. Screw my house, my kids, my husband, my furniture, my life.
Stress and I aren't best friends.
During all this, I've been talking to my husband, Rob, about how things have been going. About the stress taking its toll, and about wanting to keep myself on the good side of the Sanity Line. For a while, it was close. But Rob is very supportive. I told him that I needed him to step up his game in terms of shouldering more of the emotional strain. He reacted immediately. Rob is amazing.
Amazing or not, though, I'm tired. Tired of living and tired of being tired and just Tired. When I say it in other terms, I feel lame. But it's the way it is, so I'll let it be.
I had a few dreams. Strange dreams. In the first one, I was engaged to Rob, but I had decided to call it off. There we were, in our house (we'd already bought a house together), with all our family present to hear our I Do's, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get married after all. I was in some distress. I knew I loved him, but I didn't want to say yes.
So in my dream Rob got really, really charming. He pulled out his "resist these if you dare" puppy dog eyes. The ones that make it obvious how much he adores me. And then he held me in his arms until I melted and he whispered in my ear, "Say 'yes.'" I said, "No." And he whispered in my ear until all my defenses were gone, what little I had left after being blasted with lovey-dovey love, and I said yes.
And then I was happy.
In the next dream, a week later, Ross, a kid I grew up with, asked me to marry him. He declared his everlasting devotion to me. And then he said this, which was a weird thing to say, "And if you can't agree to be my wife, then will you at least be my girlfriend?" Who asks that? Then he gave me those "resist these if you dare" puppy dog eyes and I knew that Ross was really Rob.
But I was torn, in this dream. I knew I loved him, but I also knew I didn't want to marry him. I kept thinking, "No, no, no. It's too much. It's too hard." And he'd look at me, from across the room, with those eyes and that smile. And I'd want to cry because I felt so bad that this man wanted so desperately to marry me and make me happy, and I was in so much distress over it.
So I said, "I can be your girlfriend. That's easy. I love you." And Ross/Rob said, "I knew that'd be easy." And then I went on to tell him that I didn't know if I could marry him, love or not. And Ross/Rob was okay with that. He just wanted to be with me.
This was a disturbing dream. At least in the first one I eventually said yes.
And so I talked to Rob about it, in real life. I told him that the dream was really just a reflection of what I've been feeling but not wanting to say. Things are hard right now and I'm a little mad about it, and I'm not happy with it, and even though I have no reason to call anything quits, it sounds "good" in some ways. To walk away from the stress, and then everything would go away.
And, again in real life, Rob looked at me and said, "Will you marry me?" We have been asking each other this question every month or so since we got married. Usually it's me asking him, BEGGING him, to marry me. He always says yes. But that day it was Rob asking me and I said no. He asked me again. I said no again, but that I'd take care of his kids.
Rob's eyes changed just a little. It took me half a second to realize what that change was, but then I knew it: his eyes were registering pain. Rob was hurt. (What kind of man feels hurt and the only indication is a slight change in his eyes? Seriously, this man is amazing.) And so I said, like in my dream, "I'll be your girlfriend." Rob was okay with that.
Let me tell you that, after spending a few intimate moments with this man, refusing to be his wife while in reality BEING his wife, and with him so desperately wanting me to love him back and be his forever, I felt SO BAD. Less than half an hour's time passed before I told him I'd be his wife again.
Lessons learned:
1 - The stress has got to stop.
2 - I'm half-crazy.
3 - Rob is irresistable.
( ... And the next night I had a typical married-to-Rob dream. We were married and trying to figure out High School. This is a recurring dream of mine: trying to navigate High School while being married to Rob and sometimes also trying to figure out day care for our kids. Clearly, this dream means that "I loved Rob before I met him" (in real life I didn't know Rob in high school), and also that I really, truly hated High School. )
The End
Stress and I aren't best friends.
During all this, I've been talking to my husband, Rob, about how things have been going. About the stress taking its toll, and about wanting to keep myself on the good side of the Sanity Line. For a while, it was close. But Rob is very supportive. I told him that I needed him to step up his game in terms of shouldering more of the emotional strain. He reacted immediately. Rob is amazing.
Amazing or not, though, I'm tired. Tired of living and tired of being tired and just Tired. When I say it in other terms, I feel lame. But it's the way it is, so I'll let it be.
I had a few dreams. Strange dreams. In the first one, I was engaged to Rob, but I had decided to call it off. There we were, in our house (we'd already bought a house together), with all our family present to hear our I Do's, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get married after all. I was in some distress. I knew I loved him, but I didn't want to say yes.
So in my dream Rob got really, really charming. He pulled out his "resist these if you dare" puppy dog eyes. The ones that make it obvious how much he adores me. And then he held me in his arms until I melted and he whispered in my ear, "Say 'yes.'" I said, "No." And he whispered in my ear until all my defenses were gone, what little I had left after being blasted with lovey-dovey love, and I said yes.
And then I was happy.
In the next dream, a week later, Ross, a kid I grew up with, asked me to marry him. He declared his everlasting devotion to me. And then he said this, which was a weird thing to say, "And if you can't agree to be my wife, then will you at least be my girlfriend?" Who asks that? Then he gave me those "resist these if you dare" puppy dog eyes and I knew that Ross was really Rob.
But I was torn, in this dream. I knew I loved him, but I also knew I didn't want to marry him. I kept thinking, "No, no, no. It's too much. It's too hard." And he'd look at me, from across the room, with those eyes and that smile. And I'd want to cry because I felt so bad that this man wanted so desperately to marry me and make me happy, and I was in so much distress over it.
So I said, "I can be your girlfriend. That's easy. I love you." And Ross/Rob said, "I knew that'd be easy." And then I went on to tell him that I didn't know if I could marry him, love or not. And Ross/Rob was okay with that. He just wanted to be with me.
This was a disturbing dream. At least in the first one I eventually said yes.
And so I talked to Rob about it, in real life. I told him that the dream was really just a reflection of what I've been feeling but not wanting to say. Things are hard right now and I'm a little mad about it, and I'm not happy with it, and even though I have no reason to call anything quits, it sounds "good" in some ways. To walk away from the stress, and then everything would go away.
And, again in real life, Rob looked at me and said, "Will you marry me?" We have been asking each other this question every month or so since we got married. Usually it's me asking him, BEGGING him, to marry me. He always says yes. But that day it was Rob asking me and I said no. He asked me again. I said no again, but that I'd take care of his kids.
Rob's eyes changed just a little. It took me half a second to realize what that change was, but then I knew it: his eyes were registering pain. Rob was hurt. (What kind of man feels hurt and the only indication is a slight change in his eyes? Seriously, this man is amazing.) And so I said, like in my dream, "I'll be your girlfriend." Rob was okay with that.
Let me tell you that, after spending a few intimate moments with this man, refusing to be his wife while in reality BEING his wife, and with him so desperately wanting me to love him back and be his forever, I felt SO BAD. Less than half an hour's time passed before I told him I'd be his wife again.
Lessons learned:
1 - The stress has got to stop.
2 - I'm half-crazy.
3 - Rob is irresistable.
( ... And the next night I had a typical married-to-Rob dream. We were married and trying to figure out High School. This is a recurring dream of mine: trying to navigate High School while being married to Rob and sometimes also trying to figure out day care for our kids. Clearly, this dream means that "I loved Rob before I met him" (in real life I didn't know Rob in high school), and also that I really, truly hated High School. )
The End
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