Love That Talk

I'll just be honest here and say that President Packer's talk ticked me off.  I was so mad that I basically didn't listen to the rest of Conference.  His talk spoiled it for me.

To some people, this clearly makes me an apostate.  And if that's what it makes me, I'm okay with that.  But I DON'T think it makes me an apostate.  I feel no need to defend my position, but I would like to put down some thoughts on this issue.

In 2008 I posted a Facebook note about Prop 8, after Prop 8 was over and done with.  I thought it was an innocuous statement (something like:  "I'm in favor of gay marriage and I'm a Mormon, and I think that's okay"), and generally it was well received.  I strive for middle ground when I discuss this issue.  Mostly I say things like, "This is a hard topic," cause it is a hard topic.  People making it an easy topic frustrates me.  I've spent hours and hours thinking about this issue, agonizing over it, and respectfully discussing it.  I still can't find the easy answer.

I learned from my Facebook note that I shouldn't ever again make a politically-angled innocuous note on Facebook.  I was "turned in," if you will.  That's wrong on so many levels, and I'm not going into that.  Fortunately things ended well enough, but I was still upset about it, I realized, even almost a year later.

I bring this up to highlight the fact that this has been an on-going issue for me.  I have a dear friend who is gay and a member of the church, and I believe that it only takes knowing ONE such individual--who is trying with all their might to be righteous and good, who is praying to be changed, who is serving a mission and keeping himself in line, who is hoping that God will have mercy and take away his "problem"--to make you seriously question whether ANYONE would choose to be gay.  If it was a choice, wouldn't it be easier to choose something else?  Again, nothing's easy about this subject.

There are studies ...  But Mormon's don't care about studies.

There are NICE talks by General Authorities, even Apostles, about this topic.  Elder Oaks in particular has a good talk or two where he is soft and takes a middle ground position.  (I found this one by typing it "Oaks" and "homosexuality" into lds.org's search engine.)  But Packer's is the latest, so people latched onto it.  Packer wasn't nice or soft.  He wasn't looking for any middle ground.  He wasn't saying, "We don't know what causes homosexuality."  He said, in essence, "You can change if you pray hard enough."  He sent the message, "You weren't born with it, it's a choice, so stop choosing and get with the program."  And, worst of all he said (and this one is a REAL quote now), "Why would God do that to anyone?"

The Church has done some serious backpedaling since Packer's talk.  I wish people knew that so I didn't have to hear teacher-led gay bashing in Gospel Doctrine class.  I wish they knew that the Church changed some of Packer's words for the talk that will appear in the Ensign, and completely removed the most offensive quote that I just cited (you can already read the slightly changed version on the Church's website).  I wish they knew that the Church did an official press release with a much softer take.  And most of all I wish they knew that Uchtdorf gave a talk this last Sunday AGAIN giving the soft answer.

I don't know why President Packer felt compelled to say what he did.  I don't know why he had to be mean-spirited about it.  I don't like feeling ostricized because I feel that this is a complicated topic, and I don't need to hear that if I was more righteous I'd be totally on board with Packer's message.  Uchtdorf isn't on board with Packer's message, either, and I think he's pretty righteous.

I'd like to tell people to back off.  But then I swallow my pride.  We're all just trying to do what is right, and we're all trying to decide for ourselves what Right is.  I can respect that.