Love and Service, part 1

My aunt asked me to type up the Christmas lesson I gave for my Gospel Doctrine class, December 2011.  I'm posting it in two parts cause it's kinda long.

I tried to flesh it out so that it would make sense even if you weren't in class.  To note:  I brought crayons and markers and colored pencils and coloring pages to class and a class full of adults colored away while I taught the lesson.  It'll all make sense in the end.  Wait for it.

Here's the lesson:

When I became a Gospel Doctrine teacher, my father said, “Goodness gracious, when it comes time for it, give a Christmas lesson!”  So today I’m giving a Christmas lesson.

There are many lessons that Christmas reminds us of.  Today I chose one of those lessons.

Part 1 – The Why

We often focus on Christ’s birth, but it wouldn’t have meant much if He hadn’t grown up.  Last year me and my husband were lazy for Christmas dinner and did an easy meal, one that our family really likes:  fish.  My big effort was homemade bread.  And while we were eating we realized that this was the perfect meal to segue into the amazing miracles that Jesus performed, one of which involved fish and bread.

Mark 6:34-42
And Jesus, when he went out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.
And when the day was now far spent, his disciples came unto him and said, This is a desert place, and now the time is far passed:
Send them away, that they may go into the country round about, and into the villages, and buy themselves bread: for they have nothing to eat.
He answered and said unto them, Give ye them to eat.  And they said unto him, Shall we go and buy two hundred pennyworth of bread, and give them to eat?
He saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? Go and see.  And when they knew, they say, Five, and two fishes.
And he commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass.
And they sat down in ranks, by hundreds, and by fifties.
And when he had taken the five loaves and the two fishes, he looked up to heaven, and blessed, and brake the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before them; and the two fishes divided he among them all.
And they did all eat, and were filled.

This miracle is about practical service.  The people had been with him all day.  They needed something to eat, but buying bread for all of them was really expensive.  Jesus saw a need and filled it.

He performed many, many other miracles.  Many acts of service.  Why?  Why did He do them?

Mark 6:34 gives us the answer:  He was moved with compassion toward them.

Let’s compare that to when Jesus came to the Americas.  

Just after His death, He comes to the people in America.  He gives a sermon, and then tells the people that He must leave.  

3 Nephi 17: 5 – 6:  And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer.
And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.

He was filled with compassion.  And so, in the very next verse, he heals the sick:

3 Nephi 17:7:  Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither.  Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner?  Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.

So we have this wonderful example of the Savior healing the people.  Serving the people.

Out of love.

Heavenly Father
and
Jesus Christ

/\
|
Serve and
Love

|

\/

Us

/\
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Serve and
Love
|
\/

Others

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us and so they serve us.  We love them and so we serve them.  We serve them by loving and serving others.

If service is done RIGHT, people will see straight through us, as if it’s a direct line, to Heavenly Father, the Giver of All Good Things.

Mosiah 2:17 – 19  And behold, I tell you these things that ye many learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
Behold, ye have called me your king; and if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye to labor to serve one another?
And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any things from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!

This is what service should do – turn our thoughts and thanks and attention back to our Heavenly King.  It’s not about us.  It’s about the Ultimate Giver.

... part 2 coming soon...

I can do that

I went to school this week.  First week of the new term.  So it starts: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights I will be gone from my family; Tuesdays and Thursdays I leave before my kids get home from school.  This hit me pretty hard on Wednesday when Miciah gave me a hug and said, "Mom, I didn't see you at all yesterday.  I missed you."

Most of my classes are not book-heavy but application-focused.  I actually have to sign that project.  I need to go observe an interpreter.  I need to be interacting in sign language.  This is SWEET and actually makes me feel much calmer about the term.  No books to read?  AWESOME!

Maybe my classmates don't read their textbooks OCD-style like I do, because most of them are feeling overwhelmed with the work load in these non-textbook classes.  Granted, by Thursday I was sending Rob texts that said, "Why am I in school again?"  But normally I feel on fire.  Or, as on fire as I get.  Like so:

You want me to video tape a project in sign language every week?  Check.

I need to observe an interpreter for 2 hours?  Did and done.

Attend a weekend workshop for class credit?  Of course.

Oh, and I have to volunteer at the school, teach a church lesson every other week, take care of 3 kids, maintain my house, mow the lawn, study for tests, talk to friends, socialize in the Deaf community, and still sleep 8 hours a night?  No problem.

I can do that.

What is Unconditional Love? (The Weight Issue, Revisited)

I read this blog post and it reminded me that I have a little to say about the Weight Issue that I brought up a while back.  You're probably all sick of hearing about it, but that's the beauty of a blog:  You can just skip this post!

If Rob had only been 275 lbs. and still ROB, then there would be no Weight Issue.  But the fact is that it ruled his life and was destroying him.  I didn't decide that.  He did.  Maybe I'll have him write about it some time.  Because it's an important story.  But here's how it happened, in my words.

Rob had a rock bottom moment.  He's told me that it happened while driving in our Toyota Corolla.  He was sitting in it and he thought, "I fill up the entire side of this car."  He knew something needed to change.

It should be noted that at this point I'm not sure where I was, mentally.  For a long time as Rob was gaining weight, I didn't think there was a problem.  I certainly didn't say anything about it.  I would say things like, "You look fine," and "What are you talking about?" and "I still love you."  But as he got bigger, I started believing that Rob was going to keep gaining and gaining and he probably wouldn't change.  Rob would tell me he wanted to change, but he didn't feel it.  He needed that rock bottom moment.

The great thing about rock bottom moments is that it propels you forward.  Rob read Dr. Phil's book The Ultimate Weight Solution and realized that he needed to change his relationship with food.  And, to his credit and our happiness, he started to do it!

I needed Dr. Phil's book, too.  I read it and realized I was part of Rob's problem!  I kept food in the house that tempted him.  I was pretty lax about it all.  I was creating an environment where it was hard for him to succeed.  I would sit down with my ice cream and give him dirty looks when he wanted a bowl, too.  My rationale was, "I can handle the food.  I have healthy boundaries.  It's not my fault that you don't."

Rob succeeded and succeeded.  We both changed for the better.  And I started learning what Support is and what Support is not.

Support is:
- Participating with him.  I wasn't trying to lose weight, but I needed to be healthier, too.  I exercised (though less than he did).  I ate better.  I cooked less food.  A lot of that we're still keeping up.
- Realizing that when health is the goal instead of "a good body" or "weight loss", Rob and I are on the same plane.
- Waking up to go running with him.

Support is NOT:
- Constantly nagging him about it.
- Eating what I want because "I can handle it."
- Looking the other way.
- Telling him "I don't care how much you weigh.  I love you."

Something inside me snapped when Rob hit rock bottom and promised to change.  He promised a lifestyle change.  He saw the light.  He changed his relationship with food and with himself.  And I latched onto that moment.  "HE PROMISED TO CHANGE.  WE NEVER HAVE TO GO BACK THERE AGAIN."

...  Put yourself in my shoes.  I watched someone I love being sick and unhappy for years.  Then I got that person back, all healthy and spit shined.  Imagine what a good moment that was.

Then imagine that it was slipping away again.  I was seeing patterns re-emerging that hinted that it was all coming back.  The same old lies.  The same patterns.  The person was sort of shrugging their shoulders and heading down the same destructive path.

Does Unconditional Love demand that I say, "It's okay.  Just let it take you away again"?  NO!  It demands that I scream at them, "RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!  DON'T DO IT!  DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING?  RUN AWAY!!!"

THAT is why this Weight Issue is a Marriage Deal Breaker.  It has nothing to do with the weight and everything to do with the promises.  The trust.  The enlightened moment that we can't deny.  The damaged life that we can't go back to.

And that's my story.  No apologies offered.