Thursday, April 30, 2009

Holidays

So you know: I declared last Friday, April 24th, Recognition of Tamra's Genius Day. So I'd appreciate if you all took a moment to think about how genius I am.

Thank you.

Stolen Quote #4

This is an extension of the Stolen Quote idea. It's a stolen conversation.

Conversation Overheard at the Children's Museum

I was sitting on a little bench in the middle of a room, paying attention to my two boys 25% and reading my book 75%. This is why I love the Children's Museum, and particularly this certain spot in the museum: it's enclosed and there's a guard (Museum worker) posted at the door so your kids can't get out without you. Most useful: 11:00 a.m. is a busy time at the museum.

Anyways, there I was reading my book and minding my own. I noticed without really noticing a slightly pudgy man standing in front of me. A male voice from a few feet behind me called to him: "Hey, man!" The slightly pudgy man responded with a completely unenthusiastic, "Hey."

The man from behind me walked up to the man in front of me until they were both standing literally inches away from me. I spent a few seconds taking in these two men. The slightly pudgy man was wearing a T-shirt and knee-length khaki shorts, and he wasn't smiling. He didn't look unhappy, but he didn't look happy, either. He was the sort of bland man that you see 100 times a day in 100 different places. The man from behind me seemed in many ways to be the pudgy man's opposite: a thin man with a few day's worth of stubble on his face, and a clean diaper in the back pocket of his jeans. He seemed the sort of man to smile at a moment's notice, so long as there was cause.

It struck me that these men were familiar. Not because I knew them personally, but because they seemed to me like the type of men that would live in my neighborhood. 30-something's who take life as it comes. I imagined these two men joining the men on my street for a late afternoon beer on the front porch.

Their conversation continued. The Man From Behind asked, "You here for some family time?" Slightly Pudgy Man said, "No. I'm here with Mason." The Man From Behind, with a touch of confusion, said, "Mason?" Slightly Pudgy Man explained, "My oldest."

There was an awkward pause and then the Man From Behind said, "Oh." I was trying to figure out why Man From Behind, obviously well aquanted with Slightly Pudgy Man, wouldn't know about his oldest child. I didn't have much time to ponder this though, because Slightly Pudgy Man continued, "He's on a field trip with his pre-school." Another pause followed, this one not awkward, and then Man From Behind said, "It's nice to be laid off, isn't it? I could get used to it." Man From Behind, I could tell, truly was enjoying the perks of not working. Slightly Pudgy Man thought for a minute about being laid off, and the perks that Man From Behind was talking about. Then Slightly Pudgy Man responded, "I'd rather be golfing."

The conversation moved on, but I couldn't help giggling to myself about this interesting exchange. I immediately wrote it down so that I wouldn't forget.

Interesting side note to the story: Mason.

Elijah came up to me a few times and said, "Mom, that kid doesn't talk. He just screams." And it was true--Mason grunted and shouted, but he didn't talk. Mason was smiling and happy, but not in the usual kid way. His expressions looked hollow to me, and I couldn't quite figure out why. Moreover, Mason looked to be about 6 years old, even though his dad said he was in pre-school. After the conversation between these two men was done and after Man From Behind had moved on to another spot in the museum, Mason started throwing a fit. Screaming about nothing in particular, so far as I could tell. Slightly Pudgy Man rolled over a large stroller and without fanfare put Mason into the stroller. Mason still was throwing the fit. Then Slightly Pudgly Man rolled Mason away to a different spot and as soon as the stroller was rolling, Mason stopped screaming. Not just stopped screaming and sniffled about it. He stopped screaming and smiled at the world, staring at the ceiling, like he'd completely forgotten what he'd been screaming about just 2 seconds before.

The End

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Tetris and a Friend

It probably should not make me so extraordinarily happy that I've found someone who can play Tetris "at my level." But it does. And for a selfish, gloating moment, I'd like to expound upon that.

Halfway through the first semester of my sophomore year in college I got engaged. Happy times, but we planned the entire wedding in 2 months, which brought about a lot (and I mean a LOT) of stress. During Finals Week I had the closest thing to a Nervous Breakdown that I've ever had. It was frustrating and horrifying and life just didn't seem manageable.

Luckily, during this same time period, my roommate had an old school Nintendo system, along with many worthy games. The most worthy among them, of course: Tetris. So what did I do for many, many long hours? I played until I couldn't even keep my eyes open. My eyes would burn and itch, but I'd still be mindlessly playing Tetris. While on the phone for way too long, talking about wedding details: playing Tetris. While avoiding homework and essays and studying: playing Tetris. While not sleeping, because I liked to torture myself that way: playing Tetris.

And I got quite good at it. I beat my line score from childhood pretty quickly. Up to 120 lines, and then I was toast. Then up to 140. Then into the 160's. And then, miraculously, I topped out at 181. You probably don't realize how good that is. It's ridiculously good. So good, in fact, that I challenge anyone and everyone to try and beat me. Cause I know that their Tetris "skills" are likely to fall far short of my own. No wonder: I can play Tetris while brain dead.

I have since beat my high score. Highest line score to date: 197. Not that I have video record of it, but if I did, I could post the 8th highest score on the "Official Electronic Scoreboard" chart.
Somehow, that should make me important. What are my life accomplishments? 8th place in the Tetris Highest Lines Competition.

(Check it out here:
http://www.twingalaxies.com/index.aspx?c=22&pi=23&gi=4164&vi=14178 )

I challenged my friend, TT, to a Tetris Showdown a few years back. He was pretty confident, but that was okay with me. I like it when people are confident about their skills so that I can squish their pride and humble them. Makes me feel All Tetris Powerful. ... He didn't even come close to my score, and he had to admit that I'm the Better Tetris Player. (See how I report all this like it actually matters?)

Then, a few months ago, a friend of mine on my soccer team said she'd seen my report on Facebook that I'm really good at Tetris, and suggested that I should play against her husband, Toby, cause he's pretty good, too. Oh, it was on. They're super nice people and they brought their kids over for dinner and then: my 2nd Tetris Showdown.

To my surprise, Toby was better than I thought he would be (yes, I do just assume everyone else pretty much sucks, even if they say they're good). After watching him play about 40 lines I told him that we could be Tetris friends. He has skills. Like, real true Skills. Like, he put pieces where I would have put them--the true mark of a Tetris genius. His expertise is raw score instead of line score, so he wasn't as concerned with the total lines. He put in a nice show, but I still beat him, even in raw score. However, it wasn't the thrill of squashing his Tetris pride, like the other Showdown had been. Because Toby was a Worthy Tetris Adversary.

After watching me play, we had a discussion about our Tetris strategies and how they differ. Why we place pieces where we do. We talked about the benefits of placing certain pieces in certain places and directions. I was in heaven! Someone who can talk to me about a game I love, in a way that acknowledges my genius! Aside from the ego boost, it was also great to find someone who is "at my level."

We have a Tetris re-match loosely planned for the future. Toby's parents bought him an old school system, so he now can hone his skills. Which means I should probably start working on my own, getting back to my old line score. When I played Toby a few weeks ago, I could only get to the 160's! That's not good enough to beat a Real Tetris Master! I will have to get back to work.

And I now declare Toby my Tetris BFF.

Monday, April 20, 2009

My garden rocks.

2009 will be The Year Tamra Didn't Cut Her Hair. Why, you ask? Why NOT, I say!

No, the garden comment and the hair comment weren't connected.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Stolen Quote #3

Another Late Night Goofy Moment from Rob produced these awesome quotes:

"You didn't see how I was torturing him! I was pushing his head into his body. Like this." Rob pauses to demonstrate with his own head. "And his legs were tied behind his back. And he was giving me information."

What was he torturing, you ask? A squishy rubber dinosaur.

Part 2:
"He told me where his Big Boss Dinosaur was: Over in the meadow. Eating the brontosaurus."

Part 3:
"I was ruthless. I even bent his toes back. That's when he started talking."

Stolen from Rob

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Inalienable Rights

Not sure how I feel about these inalienable rights of ours. The ones that our country was founded on. You know them:

"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Not sure that's what we're still founded upon. From the looks of current events, we only like to give people liberty to pursue a form of happiness that conforms to our expectations of what that life would look like. "Yes, you are free to pursue a life of happiness. So long as it's what I tell you happiness is."

At any rate, I'm not sure that "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" is how I would say it, if I were making up inalienable rights for myself. It's just not meaningful enough for me, personally (for our country it's great. Would I like the U.S. to stay free from tyrannical rule? Yes. Hurray for liberty!). So I thought of what I am pursuing for myself and came up with this alternative:

"Peace, love, and a sliver of sanity."

And that's what I'm pursuing.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Brothers and Sisters

I have a really good friend named Tim that has made me re-think life. Not just THIS life, but life before we came to earth and the afterlife, too.

Cause Tim and I have a cosmic connection that I can't explain. He and I have known each other for a very, very long time. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. I know it like I know that I exist.

I wish there were more people that I felt connected in this way. I mean, I'm not even sure that I knew Rob before this life. I hope I did. I can imagine that I did. But do I KNOW that I did? Nope. I bet I knew at least some of my siblings, cause I can't imagine existing without them. I know that I knew my parents, cause my patriarchal blessing says that I chose them. So at least I knew OF them. And I'd like to think that I knew some of my good friends, since we click so well that it seems very plausible that I did. ...

I have a pretty short list of people that I KNOW I knew before this life. In fact, the only 2 people on this list: Miciah and Tim. And they're both the same, in this respect: I don't know how I know that I knew them, but I have no doubts about it. None.

But the fact that I knew Tim makes little sense to me. I mean, he's a random person to have known before this life. Our life stories have nothing in common, and our lives seem to have intersected at complete random. One of those, "What are the chances?" type of things.

And yet, he is like a brother to me. Which has made me think about this whole thing. Tim feels like a long lost brother: someone who should have been part of my life all along, and someone who will always be a part of me, no matter what. Like I could insert him as one of my brothers and that would be completely natural.

Except I think my family would eat him alive. I don't think he'd particularly like some of my family members, and I don't think they'd like him much, either. So maybe the whole pre-earth-life choosing of siblings went something like this:

The Choosing of Brothers and Sisters, A Short Sort-of Play

Imagine me milling around with a small group of people.
Mel, my father and the leader of the group, continues speaking:

"Okay, everyone. Next up for the vote is Charles. Everyone close your eyes and raise your hand if you want to vote for Charles as one of the siblings. ... I'm still counting. ... Keep your eyes closed, please. ... Okay, you can open your eyes."

We all are looking expectantly at Mel to hear the results.

"Your final results are as follows: Budge got the most votes, so he's the oldest sibling. Next is Ruben. So that gives us 6 more slots to fill. It was all pretty close for the next 6 slots. Lori, Tamra, Keith, Justin, Chad, and John? Looks like you guys made it."

We start congregating as the newly formed group of siblings, congratulating each other and talking noisily. Mel touches his ear as if listening and then says:

"Hold on. Hold on. My superior has just informed me that there's a change here. John, you're destined to be a part of another family group, sorry. Don't worry, some day you'll be really good friends with Keith, and we'll count you as family anyway. Nothing lost, really. This leaves us with one more slot to fill."

Mel looks back over the list and touches his earpiece again. Speaking to his superior:

"Really? Are you sure? But the only one who voted for him is himself! Okay. I'll tell them."

Mel clears his throat and addresses the group:

"Looks like Collin is one of the siblings, too."

The group groans as one.

"Hey, I don't make these decisions, guys, so don't get mad at me. Seems he's destined to join our family, and I'm sure we'll all learn to love him over time. As for the rest of the group: Tim, Melissa, Charles, Katherine, and George. Sorry that you didn't make the cut, but we love you anyway. Everyone getting used to the group? Good. Reconvene here in 30 years to start the first send off. Dismissed."

As I'm leaving I walk next to Tim and say:

"You know I voted for you, man."

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I Need More Values

Rob and I just finished reading a book all about caring for your soul, simplifying your life, and "[living] a life that reflects your priorities." About halfway through the chapter titled "Prune" I had a thought that started a half-crisis for me: I don't have enough Values.

I will elaborate.

A lot of books on simplifying talk about turning down committments, since we're all over-booked. And this book, called Simplify by Carolyn J. Rasmus, talked specifically with making sure the life we live reflects what our priorities are.

Well, to start with, I'm not over-booked. I'm probably WAY under-booked, actually. I just don't like to be stressed.

And let's turn to priorities. What, specifically, are my priorities? Hmm. That's a tough one. And hence my half-crisis began: What are my priorities?

The only priority I could come up with: Laziness. Okay, that's unfair to me. I don't like stress; I avoid stress at all costs; I act like stress might kill me. I don't say no to everything, mind you, but I'm not volunteering for a lot, either. I just can't handle a lot of stress, and if I stay as far away from it as possible, I'm doing pretty good. Better safe than sorry, eh?

But you know what ultra-stress-avoidance does? Nothing. It's laziness, really.

And THAT is what I decided my one true Value in life is: Stress-Avoidance. ... We should call it something better. Something that sounds like a real Value that people (real people, not just me) would actually seek. How about ... Peace. Quiet. There, those are happy words. Peace it is. Hey! I feel better about that already.

(I feel like at this point I should pay myself a few bucks for this therapy session. "You are a peace-loving person, Tamra. Say this to yourself in the mirror every morning: 'I am good enough.' That will be $50, please.")

I couldn't come up with another Value that I have. Or, at least, if I could come up with a Value, it came in second place to Peace. And it wasn't even like the race was close. Peace beat out Service, Spirituality, and Education by at LEAST a few body lengths.

It occured to me that I should perhaps get a few other Values. To balance out my life. To come up with them, though, would require some effort, and I'm not really sure how I feel about that.

In a Car

I think I could write my life story through car rides. Wouldn't that be a fun exercise?

The Experiment is Over

Started on:
March 19, 2009

Hypothesis:
It will take Rob a long time to notice that the picture needs fixing.

Materials and Methods:
1 picture barely showing in the frame.
I left the picture alone and just noticed, from day to day, if Rob fixed it or said anything about it.

Results:
Rob noticed the picture much sooner than I thought he would. I was ready to wait months and months. Instead, he noticed and fixed the picture not 12 days later, on March 28, 2009, when I took this picture as proof:

(Rob says he fixed it the day before, but I figure that since the picture had been messed up for a few days before the official start date, I can say that it officially was fixed on the day I took this picture.)
Rob was thrilled to find out that he had been the object of an experiment--you know, since he's a scientist himself.

Future Directions:
No more experiments on Rob. He is a thoughtful, wonderful person and I take him for granted. We will continue to apply our scientific minds to running experiments with/for the kids. For instance, the Lemon, Lime, Grapefruit and Orange Comparison Experiment that we ran the other day at dinner. That was a lively one.